Towards maturity (for boys)
You've already heard a lot about love. We are talking about the child, that she loves her parents ; about parents, that they love their children. People love their friends, homeland. But there is also another love, which unites the spouses, in love. Many songs are sung about this love, poems and books are written. You will meet such people as well, who talk about love with a smirk, playfully, sometimes very ambiguous.
Maybe you have a liking for someone. What your crush should look like ?
You are no longer a child
There are still changes in man, but your youth is richest in them. What is changing with you now ? What awakens in you in relation to girls ?
Liking
You see for yourself, that you stop being a child. You already have different interests than before. Your outward appearance also changes. You look in the mirror more and more. You want to arouse interest and please. You also see, that girls change as well. They talk about boys more and more often and like them, when boys are interested in them. Lovers develop between boys and girls your age. Maybe it impresses you too, when girls enjoy your company, your jokes and jokes. You are also eager to show off your skills and you want to, for your friends to admire you.
You are young
Are you looking for a loved one. Are you looking for someone, who you can talk to about your affairs : what are you thinking about, what are you going to do, what are you planning for the future. The girl is also looking for a companion. I want to share my thoughts with someone. So you meet, you are talking to each other. You get to know each other. More than once a girl out of kindness draws the boy's attention, not to smoke, he did not use uncultivated words and that he should respect her and his friends. The wise boy can appreciate these comments and starts working on it, to "pull up", to get better. In this way, friendship arises and develops between the young. They can both do much good through this friendship. But you cannot forget, that youthful sympathy and friendship also matter for your future. The condition for a reliable friendship between a boy and a girl is a certain distance, mutual respect, delicacy and a great sense of responsibility. Hence the boy knows how to defend his sympathy if necessary, and he respects her so, as he would like, that his sister should be respected by other boys. You probably noticed, that some boys consider dating crush a pastime, having fun. They cannot afford respect, kindness and true friendship. They are only looking for their own satisfaction or for the satisfaction of their curiosity. You will surely be able to oppose such colleagues and opinions. Only an athletic boy, cheerful, witty, and above all, a rational and noble one can impress a girl. But you have to become like that. So it is your job to develop these qualities and advantages, that will make you a good husband and father in the future, responsible for his family.
What about the drive ?
At your age, you may find it difficult to transform yourself, what are happening in your body. These are the natural manifestations of maturation. You learn about it in special talks at school. They approach differently- colleagues on these matters and opinions differ. Somebody says, that controlling the drive is impossible or even harmful. Not true ! Specialists, psychologists and doctors say, that the control of the libido is necessary for the normal development of a young person. Failure to control the drive and over-stimulation of the erotic sphere can cause various neuroses and diseases.
Guarding the true love of two people, the welfare of the family and children stands at the sixth commandment of God : ,,Do not commit adultery ". This commandment requires you to master your sex drive now. All its abuses are a sin.
If you have doubts about these matters, it would be good, to talk to someone adult, who you trust. It could be your father, educator, priest or elder, fellow colleague. On the other hand, towards colleagues, who can mock or joke about the sympathy of two people, or from manifestations of one's own maturation, boldly take the right position. Tell them openly, what is the life truth about man, its development, sympathy or friendship. You can help some of your friends to get the right attitude towards girls in this way. Reading the right books can help you and your colleagues.
For whom ?
A question often comes to mind : who needs my self-control ? You are already working for the future today, namely :
For a married couple - wife - children
All, what are you going through, is of great importance to your future. Knowing how to control your urges will keep you faithful in your marriage. Respect and responsibility for a girl prepares you to respect your future life companion. Having a proper experience of sympathy and friendship in your youth will allow you to experience true love someday, solemnly vowed to God.
Marital love is geared towards the offspring. When you master yourself, you respect girls, you're not just doing it for yourself, just for today. Your effort is to make you fully mature and responsible for yourself, wife, kids, for your future family.
For the Church and the nation
True love is more than concern for your own welfare or the welfare of loved ones. Two loving people willingly make sacrifices, sacrifice or sacrifice. The spouses are called to share in love, with which Christ loved his Church. Jesus gave his life for our salvation.
When you start a family, your love should be like this in the future, like Christ's love for the Church. Your future marriage is the foundation of the Christian family, and Christian families are the foundation of Christ's Church, they are "little Church".
Your sympathy and effort, to master yourself and your drive, are a very important stage in your life. Its task is to prepare you for understanding, What is love ; prepare you to start a family, to sacrificial service to their loved ones, Church and nation.
How will I answer God ?
It makes you happy, that you are becoming more and more mature. Transformation, which are taking place in you, they are to make you the future husband and father responsible for your family.
How do you relate to girls ? How do you talk about love of brides… spouses ? Don't you share the wrong views on the mastery of the libido ? What are you doing, to overcome the drive ? What is your position on pornography ?
Have you tried talking to any adult, trusted, in matters concerning your maturation ?
Thank Christ for it, that he called you to such love, which he himself had for all people…
■ Think :
1. Which proves this, that you are becoming a mature person ?
2. What qualities of boys are appreciated by girls ?
3. How is the real sympathy between a boy and a girl manifested? ?
4. How will you talk to your friends about girls, about sympathy ?
5. Why is it necessary to control your drive ?
6. What commandment guards the true love of two people ?
7. For whose sake you are to master your drive ?
■ Remember:
18. Transformation, which are taking place in you, evidenced by the, that you stop being a child. You should treat girls with respect and kindness, because they will be mothers in the future.
19. When you experience personal difficulties, related to your development, don't be afraid to talk to an adult : my father, educator, a priest (in or out of confession) or with the older one, a prudent colleague.
20. True love, to which you are called, it has to be like this, like Christ's love for the Church. It is about this, that you will be ready to master your drive for the benefit of your future family, make sacrifices and austerities, that everyone will be well in it.